All the Way With America

Attention all Space Travellerswe won didn't we? It shortened the war and saved
Fasten your seatbelts; you are about to land onmany of our soldiers lives, didn't it?
Planet America. Thank you for travelling Air UranusSome nutty university professors believe that our
and welcome to the land of the free.invasion of Korea was uncalled-for, allrightee then, but
Ok, now all Marxist, Communist, Maoist, and Socialistas soon as the Chinese got on board, we pulled back
tree-swingers - listen up!and sacked General Macarthur, didn't we? Well didn't
So, during the cold war, we divided the third worldwe? They claim that going into Granada was
and forced most of them into unfair trade and tariffsunpardonable - hello, so our elderly President [Reagan]
agreements … Ok, so we may havemay have received some bad advice from his
occasionally interfered with the body-politic of someclairvoyant, so what! No harm done ... was there?
countries. Ok then, perhaps we sponsored a fewSettle …settle.
coup détats here and there: Chile, Nicaragua,They go on and on with this blame game, should not
Venezuela … OK OK, the whole Southhave gone into Panama - Iraq - Saudi Arabia - Haiti -
American Continent, Africa, Asia … So what!Cuba - Afghanistan … should not have given
We are on a crusade against evil.Apache attack-helicopters and nuclear technology to
Those on the lunatic fringes of the proletariat claimIsrael. What will they blame us for next: Acid Rain,
that when the small agricultural country of VietnamGlobal Warming, Globalization, Ozone Depletion,
quoted from our Declaration of Independence, toMcDonalds, Tsunamis, Chikungunya …? What
justify its own, that we burned their rice fields withis wrong with these people?
napalm and bombed them back to the Stone Age.Get a grip Loonies! Don't you know that we are the
This may be true, but then, we were only helping ourworld's only superpower? Ok we may harbor
friends the French reclaim what was rightfully theirs,hegemonic ambitions, but we are on the side of good
all along: the whole of Indochina. Give us a break!and, we want OUR world to be free and democratic.
We also stopped the dreaded domino-effect andSure, we may have to drop a few bombs on you
prevented Vietnam from launching a major attacknow and again … to liberate you, but hey,
against mainland America, didn't we? Too bloody rightrest assured that we only have your best interests
we did!at heart - have faith people.
Let me tell you why we have a military presence inTrust us, the more prosperous and powerful we
132 of the 191 countries of the UN - you won't readbecome, the more benefit YOU will derive from the
that in your little red book or in the manifesto of Madtrickle down effect. You know, yes you do …
Marx. Yes, tree swingers, that's right! It is to protectthe bit about greed being moderated by greed - until
democracy and freedom, to shield the world fromit spills over to you mob. Great, isn't? Too right!
evil and to rid OUR planet of all wickedness andDon't listen to the prophets of doom, when they tell
communists. In short, to look after your interests ...you that our current foreign policy of pre-emption
yes people, your interests …work with meand laser-guided missile programs will plunge the world
here!into the abyss of Armageddon. What nonsense!
The radicals on the extreme left will tell youDon't listen to them, it's only leftist propaganda.
otherwise. They claim that we are the only nation inNaaahh! It will never happen …
history to have ever dropped atomic bombs onAll the way with G Dubya
civilian populations.God bless our America - I say.
They argue that even if the first bomb was justified,Kindly turn the lights out as you leave the Planet.
that the second was an abomination. Well …