| Attention all Space Travellers | | | | It shortened the war and saved many of our |
| | | | soldiers lives, didn't it? |
| Fasten your seatbelts; you are about to land | | | | |
| on Planet America. Thank you for travelling | | | | Some nutty university professors believe that |
| Air Uranus and welcome to the land of the | | | | our invasion of Korea was uncalled-for, |
| free. | | | | allrightee then, but as soon as the Chinese |
| | | | got on board, we pulled back and sacked |
| Ok, now all Marxist, Communist, Maoist, and | | | | General Macarthur, didn't we? Well didn't we? |
| Socialist tree-swingers - listen up! | | | | They claim that going into Granada was |
| | | | unpardonable - hello, so our elderly |
| So, during the cold war, we divided the third | | | | President [Reagan] may have received some bad |
| world and forced most of them into unfair | | | | advice from his clairvoyant, so what! No harm |
| trade and tariffs agreements … Ok, so | | | | done ... was there? Settle …settle. |
| we may have occasionally interfered with the | | | | |
| body-politic of some countries. Ok then, | | | | They go on and on with this blame game, |
| perhaps we sponsored a few coup détats | | | | should not have gone into Panama - Iraq - |
| here and there: Chile, Nicaragua, Venezuela | | | | Saudi Arabia - Haiti - Cuba - Afghanistan |
| … OK OK, the whole South American | | | | … should not have given Apache |
| Continent, Africa, Asia … So what! We | | | | attack-helicopters and nuclear technology to |
| are on a crusade against evil. | | | | Israel. What will they blame us for next: |
| | | | Acid Rain, Global Warming, Globalization, |
| Those on the lunatic fringes of the | | | | Ozone Depletion, McDonalds, Tsunamis, |
| proletariat claim that when the small | | | | Chikungunya …? What is wrong with these |
| agricultural country of Vietnam quoted from | | | | people? |
| our Declaration of Independence, to justify | | | | |
| its own, that we burned their rice fields | | | | Get a grip Loonies! Don't you know that we |
| with napalm and bombed them back to the Stone | | | | are the world's only superpower? Ok we may |
| Age. | | | | harbor hegemonic ambitions, but we are on the |
| | | | side of good and, we want OUR world to be |
| This may be true, but then, we were only | | | | free and democratic. Sure, we may have to |
| helping our friends the French reclaim what | | | | drop a few bombs on you now and again … |
| was rightfully theirs, all along: the whole | | | | to liberate you, but hey, rest assured that |
| of Indochina. Give us a break! | | | | we only have your best interests at heart - |
| | | | have faith people. |
| We also stopped the dreaded domino-effect and | | | | |
| prevented Vietnam from launching a major | | | | Trust us, the more prosperous and powerful we |
| attack against mainland America, didn't we? | | | | become, the more benefit YOU will derive from |
| Too bloody right we did! | | | | the trickle down effect. You know, yes you do |
| | | | … the bit about greed being moderated |
| Let me tell you why we have a military | | | | by greed - until it spills over to you mob. |
| presence in 132 of the 191 countries of the | | | | Great, isn't? Too right! |
| UN - you won't read that in your little red | | | | |
| book or in the manifesto of Mad Marx. Yes, | | | | Don't listen to the prophets of doom, when |
| tree swingers, that's right! It is to protect | | | | they tell you that our current foreign policy |
| democracy and freedom, to shield the world | | | | of pre-emption and laser-guided missile |
| from evil and to rid OUR planet of all | | | | programs will plunge the world into the abyss |
| wickedness and communists. In short, to look | | | | of Armageddon. What nonsense! |
| after your interests ... yes people, your | | | | |
| interests …work with me here! | | | | Don't listen to them, it's only leftist |
| | | | propaganda. Naaahh! It will never happen |
| The radicals on the extreme left will tell | | | | … |
| you otherwise. They claim that we are the | | | | |
| only nation in history to have ever dropped | | | | All the way with G Dubya |
| atomic bombs on civilian populations. | | | | |
| | | | God bless our America - I say. |
| They argue that even if the first bomb was | | | | |
| justified, that the second was an | | | | Kindly turn the lights out as you leave the |
| abomination. Well … we won didn't we? | | | | Planet. |